They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize