I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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