i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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