It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
