Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
