I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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