You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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