He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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