the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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