I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
