Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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