I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Mom said you looked used
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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