I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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