Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
