before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize