My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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