it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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