Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
