Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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