you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i think i just lost a toe
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
