My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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