it wasn't lemon gatorade
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
