And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
