can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
