I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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