if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize