My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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