Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize