If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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