She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
