look no pants
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You smell like stripper and shame
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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