Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
should my penis look like a turkey
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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