Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
