so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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