your room smells of hookers.
And success
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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