New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
