Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
