On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
