"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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