Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
