waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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