Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
