I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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