And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
