The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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