Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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