Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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