Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
