We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
