the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
jump out the window naked night went bad
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