Will you blow on my dice?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This baby is an asshole
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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