I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
