Don't you send me to vm
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
