evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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