im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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