I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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