i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize