Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
