Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
