im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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