Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
