you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
