i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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