So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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