i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
as a side note pls kill me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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